i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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