Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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