Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just want to make out with him forever
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i am craving dick and cupcakes
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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