she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
