i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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