I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
