After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
