Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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