Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i will never coherently bang her
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
