She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
