Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
