are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
