sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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