do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
