I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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