erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
