I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
