btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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