I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
