She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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