Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
