Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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