She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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