I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
