I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
