Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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