you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
