you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
