Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
