I met the friendliest cop last night
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
