It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
