I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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