how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
