That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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