The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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