Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
