did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
