So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
