Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you win again, gameday.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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