I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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