Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
