Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
