I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
