White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
