you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
