Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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