saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
