I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
