So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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