If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
