And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
only if we run a train.
done.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
