Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
