Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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